or 7 things you should never say to a transgender person

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Photo by Milivoj Kuhar on Unsplash

The world is starting to get vocal about different genders and sexualities. That’s good news. The not so great news is that most cisgender people are entirely in the dark when it comes to transgender people. Right? You want to try- this is your person, your brother, your daughter. You want to be supportive, but you don’t know what to do. (cisgender means your insides and your outside are in harmony. And no one has EVER questioned you about it.)

I was just like you, only a few years ago. I went to church and read my Bible. A lot. I raised both of my children to adulthood, and none of us died. I’ve humbly shared the stories of all my ugly stuff through testimonials and gave all the glory to God. I married a wonderful, kind Christian man that everyone loved. My belief system meant everything to me. …


LGBT | Transgender | Allyship | Lifestyles

How to show your transgender loved one they matter

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Photo by Shane on Unsplash

So, you’re loved one has just dropped the ultimate coming out bomb. Transgender. Your first thought is “God, no! Not THAT!” quickly followed by “How on earth do I do this?”

Am I close? If your experience is anything like mine was, I bet I nailed it.

How do I do this? Let’s begin with one simple premise: the answer is love. No matter what the question, the answer is love. …


Fibromyalgia | Chronic Pain | Lifestyles

The “B” in FIBRO stands for body aches.

billboard depicting pain OUCH
billboard depicting pain OUCH
Photo by Ilse Orsel on Unsplash

We have been working through the acronym FIBRO to talk about some symptoms of this painful syndrome. First, we talked about fatigue right here:

When you have a condition with a lot of invisible pain, a whole lot of people think invisible means nonexistent. Not true.

Fibromyalgia has different types of pain that are quite unlike typical arthritis or any other it is. Hear me- those can result in excruciating pain. That’s not what I mean.

Fibro is full of weird pain. Unexpected pain. Disconnected Pain. Continual Pain. Acute Pain. Chronic Pain. And none of it makes sense.

Here’s an example. Generally, if the average person trips on the upturned corner of a rug, the outcome is a non-thing. Life goes on other than a moment of embarrassment. Suppose a person with fibromyalgia trips on that same corner could trigger three or four days in bed. That feels crazy, right? And therein lies the problem. …


Fibromyalgia | Chronic Pain | Health

Seeing the inflammation of fibromyalgia

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Photo by Nonsap Visuals on Unsplash

If one more person tells me how freaking normal I look, I am going to . . . nevermind. I promised my editor I wouldn’t use those words. * bald-faced lie to get a chuckle. And to use the phrase “my editor.”* I am seriously tired of hearing this type of comment when I mention fibromyalgia. I kind of get it After all, only about 8% of people get fibromyalgia and most of them are women So, don’t feel alone if you don't understand this diagnosis. Not sure anyone does, completely. Even those who live with it.

We’ve been discussing fibromyalgia in the form of using an acronym. Fibro is the shorthand name for this painful syndrome and it is the word I chose for the acronym. Each letter stands for a component of the syndrome. F is for fatigue and you can read that right…


Chronic Pain | Fibromyalgia | Health

When you feel like you've been hit by a bus

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Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash

Think about the last time you felt absolutely exhausted. What did you do? My bet is you went to sleep, either for a nap or until morning, and you woke up, felt great, and carried on. Makes sense. We’ve all done that more than a few times over the years. Particularly when there were fewer years to count, if you know what I mean.

This is not that.

We’re talking about the fatigue that 90% of the people with fibromyalgia experience daily. Fibro fatigue is a completely different animal. It isn’t tiredness. It’s not even exhaustion. It’s more like, “I would literally prefer to be knocked out with a fist than feel this way” kind of thing. When I say I feel like I got hit by a bus, you probably think I’m making a huge exaggeration. The truth is, you’re right, it isn’t like getting hit by a bus. …


LGBT | TRANSGENDER | ALLYSHIP

To be an ally means knowing it’s really about them

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Photo by Caroline on Unsplash

We’ve been talking about how you can become an ally to the LGBTQ person in your life, how you can be an ally to ALL LGBTQ people. We started with the acronym ALLY and talked about coming Alongside someone, about Loving someone, about Learning their language. Today we will wrap it up talking about YOU.

I saw your eyes light up a little when I said this would be about you. Even though you read the title, you still got a little excited thinking I was finally ready to talk about what a struggle your loved one’s coming out has been for you. I hear you, I do. …


LGBTQ | Transgender | Love

Or, It’s Called Top-Surgery, And I Need It

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Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

It is a genuinely surreal moment when you go with your female-bodied grandchild to have an elective double mastectomy. And you're excited for it to happen. No cancer or tumors led to this removal of body parts. That would have made perfect sense. This reason, however, was equally fatal.

My grandchild is an FTM (female-to-male) transgender human being. He is an incredibly loving and kind young adult (22) male. I am a born-again Christian with a house full of Bibles. I am a caring and kind Grandma who had no idea how to absorb the news of his true identity. That surgery sure got it through my head. …


Transgender|LGBTQ|Allyship

And it might just save your relationship.

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Photo by Angelina Litvin on Unsplash

The second L in our ALLY acronym series stands for Learning. You can start the series at the beginning with this story if you like.

Language. This one is huge! If you’re anything like I was when I began this journey, you probably don’t know a whole lot about the LGBTQ community. Take the time to learn the language, understand the commonalities and the differences between the acronym’s letters. Better yet, take the time to learn about the commonalities your LGBTQ person has with YOU. This seemingly colossal divide indeed can be navigated with love. And then everybody wins.

Learning the basics is the first step in showing your support as an ally. So, for the sake of those basics, let’s start at the beginning. What is the current acronym for those who are in a community of non-heterosexual, non-binary people? LGB came first. In the 1990s the acronym added the T for transgender people. …


Chronic Pain| Fibromyalgia| Health

Whether you like it or not!

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Photo by Hailey Kean on Unsplash

How ya been feeling? It’s always the very first question, no matter if it’s your mom, your lover, or your 8th-grade history teacher. How ya been feeling? When did people stop asking me what I had been doing lately? When was it that “who I am” became “who I used to be?”

I’m not good at keeping track of things. I can’t count carbs, and I always have more lids than bowls. So it won’t surprise you to know I lose track of my days. Pretty scary, right? Chronic pain will change you more than you think. …


Compasion|Love|Relationships

And the rest of us don't.

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Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

You know the feeling. The one that no matter how much you’ve done, it just isn’t enough. We’ve all had it, one time or another. But when it washes over us in a waterfall of danger and hatred and blood, it can take on a whole new power. And you’re the only one who can stop it.

Sounds pretty heavy. A mountain of responsibility, a wall of accountability, a belief down in your bones, that drive to help make it better, winds up breaking your heart every time. Even though we do everything in our power to right a wrong or prevent a tragedy, sometimes we fail. Sometimes it just isn’t our job to be the hero in this one. …

About

Teresa Kuhl

Ready to become an LGBTQ ally? It could be the most important move in your life! I can help! Let’s connect and grow! https://www.facebook.com/callyourmamat

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